Sunday, June 05, 2016

New Rules: Natural Consequences Edition X

15. Men who catcall people who don't want to be catcalled are sentenced to losing the ability to get an erection for as long as their target remembers or is negatively affected by the catcall.  The impotence to which they are sentenced is so great that it cannot be overcome by viagra or any other medical technology. Sentences will be served consecutively.

(I'm open to adding a natural consequence for women who catcall people who don't want to be catcalled, but I can't think of one that's equivalent. The obvious choice - losing the ability to become sexually aroused or to perform sexually - doesn't seem like it would have an equivalent emotional/psychological impact.)

4 comments:

M@ said...

I 100% agree with this rule, and I support its implementation using a hammer.

There is no real equivalent for females with catcalling, because females aren't typically in a position in our society to impose their person (and their sexuality) on men's space. So I'm not sure what an appropriate punishment might be, but I don't really think it's such a big problem.

impudent strumpet said...

A more inclusive version:

People who make unwanted catcalls have everything that they perceive to be positive about their sexuality deactivated for as long as their target is negatively affected by the catcall. Sentences will be served consecutively.

I'm going back and forth about whether it should be every aspect of their sexuality or just the physical aspects. The argument for just the physical aspects is that if the mental/emotional/psychological aspects are also deactivated, they might not be bothered by being rendered impotent. The argument for all aspects is that there might be some people who wouldn't feel impotent if their physical aspects are deactivated but they still retain the other aspects.

I also just realized that this doesn't include a consequence for asexual people. I don't know if there is such thing as asexual catcalling, but, if there is, I'm almost curious of what it consists of.

laura k said...

I'm trying to think of a situation where women catcall, and I can't.

impudent strumpet said...

I'm not proud to admit it, but I catcalled Eddie Izzard once when he was on stage and I was in the audience.

He started his show in a sort of John Steed outfit with suit, bowler hat and umbrella. Then, as the intro music and lights play, he walks to the front of the stage, he throws the umbrella aside, removes the hat and throws it aside, removes the tie and throws it aside, and loosens his collar.

I was so caught up in the energy and anticipation of live performance and general fangirl exuberance and the fact that he was removing pieces of clothing while walking straight at me that, before I knew what was coming out of my mouth, I shouted something like an inappropriately enthusiastic "Keep going!" at him.

He didn't appear to react, so I don't know if that means he couldn't hear me over the music and crowd, or he's an experienced performer who isn't going to cede attention to an unhelpful heckle, or he just didn't care.

I wasn't even thinking about this when I wrote the blog post, but now that I think about it in the first person, I'd very much want that kind of natural consequence imposed on me if my idiocy bothered Eddie. Clearly I can't keep my sexuality under control, so it would be helpful for everyone if it were somehow magically muted, making me just another of the hundreds of sexually irrelevant people present rather than being a creepy harasser.