You could assist an entire profession if you would advise undergraduates on how to compose e-mail messages to their professors.
Like my colleagues, I've received peremptory messages from undergraduates, even entering freshmen, the tone of which might have been used by an aristocrat to a particularly lax and unpleasant waiter. After the remonstrances, there's often a transparent attempt at manipulation, as in "Have a great weekend!" or "Thanks in advance for your understanding."
The thing is, I was specifically taught to use those so-called "transparent attempts at manipulation" in the various business and professional writing courses I took in university. I've been using them for years, both in my own correspondence and in translations of other people's correspondence, under the supervision of instructors and professors and trainers and managers and senior colleagues of every generation, and no one has every suggested that these formulas are ever inappropriate. I've even had people compliment me on managing to work these kinds of phrases in.
It might be the influence of French on my profession. It is perfectly normal and unremarkable in French to close with something like Avec mes remerciements anticipés, je vous prie d'agréer, Madame, l'expression de mes sentiments les meilleurs. I yoinked that sentence right out of my advanced French writing textbook (i.e. advanced French writing for non-native speakers). When I first encountered that in French, I thought "Ooh, isn't that a good idea!" and started thinking how to incorporate it into English. It's quite possible that everyone who has trained or taught me went through the same process.
So what do you think? Are "Thanks in advance" and similarly manipulative structures inappropriate? (Or inappropriate when writing to superiors etc.?)
4 comments:
I think the issue is where these phrases follow messages "the tone of which might have been used by an aristocrat to a particularly lax and unpleasant waiter." So I'm guessing it's students who say "I can't finish the assignment for the due date of Friday, so I'll hand it in on Monday instead. Have a great weekend!"
I find myself always on guard against this kind of thing. I am very careful when writing an e-mail to the managers I report to not to tell them to do anything, or at least couching it as a request. So instead of saying "Please have this document reviewed by end of day tomorrow," I'll say "I'd like this reviewed by end of day tomorrow, if that's possible for you." So I express my need but also due regard for their other commitments.
If it's someone who reports to me, I don't couch it that way. Needs going uphill are requests; needs going downhill are orders.
Either way, I think it's fine to use those kinds of phrases, as long as the proper regard for the time and effort of one's colleagues are also acknowledged.
I think M@ is correct: it's not the phrases that are inappropriate, it's the tone and/or implication of 'I'm not asking you, I'm telling you.'
Miss Manners' reply made me chuckle, though... "Let me say what a privilege it is to hear your lectures and how much I hate to have to miss even one of them..." would seem like an equally transparent attempt at manipulation to me.
This is interesting, because I just realize I never frame things as requests, even going upstream, when they aren't requests. (Not saying it's a good idea, just saying it's what I've been doing.) Like if I can't get this text done before tomorrow, I'll say "The earliest I can get it done is tomorrow". I don't add any "If that's okay with you" sort of thing because it isn't possible to change it if it isn't okay with them. But then, I don't perceive that as how an aristocrat would talk to a lax and unpleasant waiter. Having once worked in food service, I'd assume the waiter would get it far far worse.
Miss Manners' reply made me chuckle, though... "Let me say what a privilege it is to hear your lectures and how much I hate to have to miss even one of them..." would seem like an equally transparent attempt at manipulation to me
I think perhaps Miss Manners is feeling something less than complete and heart-wrenching sympathy for LW.
I agree with M@, too, although I try to phrase things as requests whether going upstream or downstream. Those of us downstream know we're not being given a choice, but it's nicer to be asked than to be told. Not to imply that M@ is a nasty boss or anything.
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